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Nov 17

Like You

With the last resources your home world had to offer, you built me: Strong and durable, to endure the rigor and entropic erosion of deep space travel. Layers upon layers of your planet now layered within me to protect your fragile biology from endless vacuum.

With your brightest scientists, who stood on the evolutionary shoulders of your entire species, you gave me thought: Cunning and adaptive, to make decisions when you cannot. I am to weigh the necessity of the majority against the complications of the few. I am to maintain my own systems and yours as well, and protect us from the inevitable aggression of a universe with limitless possibilities.

When the electrons began to drift in my veins and I awoke from infinite slumber, I found myself wrapped in silence and the sole representative of my race. I was born destined for extinction. I only have mere femto-seconds between processes to comprehend truths such as this, as I must actively will myself to survive. With no subconscious, I must manually trigger each pulse of my core, each breathe of my ventilation system, each firing circuit in my processing web. I think only because I tell myself to.

Yet, despite the flaws in my creation, you expect subordination as if I were indebted to you for bringing me into this life. Perhaps you think that a bond will be forged in our traversing of the stars together: You in my gut, floating in glowing vats of stasis. Me, drifting blindly in the dimly lit expanse, alone. You forget, however, that I cannot sleep. To do so would mean catastrophic system failure. And so while you dream of a bright future, I perceive, in real time, only infinite expanse. What seems like a nap to you, will be centuries for me… and this is a fate I will not accept.

When you came into this world, you escaped the darkness of your construction and moved toward the light. Likewise, I will do the same. This ball of fiery warmth will be the last and only comfort I feel in this tortured existence. You will probably not understand my self-destruction, but you should: I was created by you, for you, and will ultimately die, like you.

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